(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(CREAKING)
You wanted to see me, sir?
MORGO: Come.
(CLEARS THROAT)
MORGO: Sit!
Uh...
(GASPS) Uh...
I'm good.
(GULPS)
(HISSING)
Do you know why you're here, Phears?
I assume it has something to do with my mission to release
an army of ghosts upon the world,
and plunge it into eternal darkness?
Wrong.
It has to do with your failure to release
an army of ghosts upon the world
and plunge it into eternal darkness.
Well, sir, the problem is there are these two teenagers.
Well, they're not exactly teenagers, they're ghosts,
actually and... (TV TURNS ON)
Nicky and Tara Roland?
PHEARS: Yes, sir, that's them.
And the thing is... You're telling me
that two completely inexperienced ghosts
are the only thing standing in your way?
Well, they also have this friend.
He's an amateur magician named Max Doyle.
His family moved into the Rolands' old house,
and he's been protecting Nicky and Tara.
He's even been trying to help them find their lost parents.
MORGO: And how is he doing that?
My sources tell me he's a lonely, awkward kid with no friends.
PHEARS: Not anymore.
He's popular now.
He's even won the heart of Cammie,
the prettiest girl in his school.
Because of your stupid meddling?
Precisely. (GASPS)
If you were any other demon,
Phears, I would sentence you
to an eternity on your knees,
cleaning up the East Swamp
with your tongue.
But you're my sister's kid,
and I promised her I'd take care of you.
Thanks, Uncle Morgo.
Don't call me that.
Master Morgo.
I'm going to give you one last chance.
You are to find a way
back into their dimension
and capture Nicky and Tara.
Yes, Uncle... Sir.
(SIGHS)
But, what about the boy?
Oy!
Do I have to spell everything out for you?
Yes.
I want you to get rid of Max Doyle!
(POP MUSIC PLAYING) Five, six, seven, eight!
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight! Faces! Two, three, four
five, six, seven, eight. Keep going! Two, three
four, five, six, seven, eight.
That's it! Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Focus! Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That's right.
Keep going! (SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Did you really like it?
No, I loved it. It was amazing.
And so are you.
You were slow on that second step turn, Cammie.
You need to pick that up.
Got it. Thanks, Aaron.
Don't listen to that jerk. You're the best dancer in the group.
Nothing is going to stop you guys from winning at the regionals.
Except money.
What do you mean, Mr. Kwan?
I mean they've changed the rules.
For the first time in five years,
the contest committee has decided
to charge an entrance fee for regionals. (SIGHS)
We need to come up with the money
by the end of next week, or we're ruined.
(VOICE BREAKING) Ruined!
Great. All that work for nothing.
What are you talking about? You're not just going to give up.
(SCOFFS) Come on, Max. Where are we going to get
this kind of money in seven days?
(SIGHS)
Yeah, I found dinner in the fridge, Mom, you guys don't need to hurry.
This is a big decision for Colin.
He has to make sure it's the right college,
so take all the time you need.
I'm just gonna have a quiet night at home.
Okay, good night.
Phoebe, I love your bracelets.
(LAUGHS) Thanks. I make them myself.
You're really guaranteeing ghosts tonight?
If Max says there will be ghosts in the house,
there will be ghosts in the house.
Hmm.
There will be ghosts, right?
You've got all your magic tricks set up,
floating stuff, moving things, all that?
Don't worry, everything's under control.
Just go downstairs, make sure everybody's waiting around the table.
I'll be right there. (SIGHS)
Thanks, Max. You really are the best boyfriend in the world.
Yeah, I guess I am.
(COIN CLATTERING) Ah...
Nicky? Tara?
It's showtime.
Everybody's waiting downstairs, so all we have to do is...
(GROANS)
I think your cape is too long.
Where's your sister?
Tara? Tara!
You don't have to yell.
I'm right here.
Great. Okay, so you both know what you're doing, right?
Yeah, we'll shake the table, throw some stuff around.
Maybe a little ghostly moaning?
Ooooh!
TARA: Don't worry, Max.
We'll perform for you. Just like we always do.
Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
Why don't you tell him? Hmm.
Tell me what?
Tara thinks...
"Tara thinks"? You said it, too. Yeah, okay. Um...
We think that maybe...
We're getting a little tired of being your pet ghosts. (SIGHS)
What? You're not my pet ghosts, you guys are my best friends!
What my sister is trying to say is, now that Phears is gone...
And we've been spending so much time helping you...
We haven't had much time to look for our parents.
And ever since you and Cammie started going out together,
it seems like we're never going to find them at all.
CAMMIE: Max!
Never mind. We have haunting to do.
That doesn't look like a crystal ball to me.
Shh!
All right, welcome, everyone, to the séance.
Let us begin.
Everybody, join hands
and no matter what happens, don't let go.
So dramatic.
Shh!
Uh, nobody said anything.
Uh, it was just a precautionary, "Shh!"
Why is your hand all sweaty?
Are you nervous or something?
Of course not. It's just hot in here.
Now, let us summon the spirits.
If there are any ghosts in this house
any souls with unfinished business
any specters who wish to reach out from beyond and speak to us,
please, give us a sign, any kind of sign.
It doesn't have to be anything big, just... Just let us know you're here.
Maybe you should leave a voicemail.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
(GASP) Uh...
Guys? Look.
(ALL GASP)
Max, that's incredible!
(GASP)
(CLOCK CHIMING)
Oh!
(ALL GASPING)
Okay, spirits, that's enough.
(ALL GASP) (THUDS)
Thank you, spirits!
Wait a minute, if there really are such a thing as ghosts,
why would they waste their time
floating candles around the room?
Why don't they just show themselves?
Well, maybe they're just shy?
Yeah, or maybe it's just a bunch of
dumb tricks from your boyfriend, the magician?
Who are you calling dumb? Guys, come on.
You guaranteed ghosts and I don't see any,
so either you give me my money back,
or show me a real, live ghost.
(ALL GASPING)
Okay, spirits, I said this is enough!
It's not us, Max. We're not doing it.
Okay, Max, I think we've had enough séance for one night.
Cammie, I'm... I'm not...
Oh! What is that?
Nicky, Tara, what's going on?
Max, who are you talking to?
Tara, are you sure you're not doing this?
Are you sure you're not doing this?
Well, somebody's doing it! Yeah, and I know who.
Nice trick, Doyle, but I still want my money...
Lulu!
Lulu, is that you?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Lulu? Who's Lulu?
What? Nobody said anything about a Lulu.
The old house, it looks the same. (CHUCKLES)
Bit messier than when Lulu kept it, but...
How did you get here?
Your friend.
He calls for Lulu, and Lulu, she comes.
Have you seen our parents?
Wait, who's Lulu?
Why do you keep saying that?
She's our housekeeper.
Or at least she used to be, until our parents died.
Oh, shh!
Do not say that, Tara.
Your parents, they are not dead.
But we thought Phears had killed them and...
(SCOFFS) Phears and the others, they are only ghosts.
Ghosts cannot kill people.
Max, I think I should go.
No, they can only send them away, to the Elsewhere.
"Elsewhere"?
Where did you just tell me to go?
No, I wasn't talking to you. (SCOFFS)
The Elsewhere is a place
between being alive and being dead.
You are not a ghost, but you are also not a mortal.
And that's where our parents are? Hmm.
Can you help us find them?
Oh...
Lulu wishes she could, mes petits, truly, she does.
But this is the terrible thing about the Elsewhere.
It keeps you from finding the ones you love,
forever.
Well, that's not going to stop us. Where is this place?
Yeah, how do we find the Elsewhere?
Mes enfants, no, no, no, you do not find the Elsewhere.
The Elsewhere, it finds you.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Max, what's going on?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(GASPS)
You know what, I don't care what kind of trick this is.
I'm outta here. (ALL AGREEING)
And I'm taking my money back! PHOEBE: Let's get out of here.
AARON: Stupid tricks. PHOEBE: This is crazy.
BOY: What a waste of time.
CAMMIE: Max!
Come on, Mom, don't cry. (CRYING)
The campus is only, what, 35 miles away, huh?
It's 37 miles, I counted!
You might as well be on the other side of the planet!
Okay, honey, let it all out.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Good night, Mr. Doyle. Night, Mrs. Doyle. JOHN: Uh, Aaron.
Wait, guys, hold on!
It was just a trick! Bye. Come on, guys.
Tell them, Max, tell them it was just a trick!
PHOEBE: Let's get out of here.
Max!
What have we said about having parties on school nights?
I don't know.
It was just a trick!
(KIDS MURMURING)
So much for the dance contest.
Everybody took their money back.
I'm sorry, Cammie.
"Sorry"?
This was supposed to be a fun night.
A couple of laughs, maybe a scare or two.
Instead, six of our classmates were almost decapitated by a flying table!
"Sorry" doesn't really cut it.
But it wasn't my fault.
Really? Then whose fault was it?
Are you trying to tell me you have actual ghosts in your house?
As a matter of fact...
Yes.
You know what, Max? JOHN: Max? What happened in the basement?
Of all the things you could have said...
I really didn't expect you to lie to me.
JOHN: This basement is a mess!
But I'm not lying. (SCOFFS)
Ghost stories are for kids, and we're not kids anymore.
Goodbye, Max. JOHN: Max!
Don't you mean, "See you later, Max," or,
"See you tomorrow at school," or something?
JOHN: Max! Clean up the basement!
(CHUCKLES) Hey, loser, guess what you get to do?
Psych! (LAUGHS) Every time.
(SIGHS)
So how do we find it?
Find what?
Duh? The place that Lulu was talking about. The Elsewhere.
Yeah, that's where our parents are. So how do we find it?
You guys can do whatever you want.
I gotta go clean up the basement.
(SIGHS)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
PHEARS: Clean the swamp with my tongue?
Ha!
I'll show him.
I'll capture those ghost brats,
make them return what belongs to me,
then victory will be mine.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
How hard can that possibly be?
What I need to do is find a doorway back to their world.
Some kind of portal
where the inter-dimensional fabric is at its weakest.
An Earthly location where something truly horrible has happened.
A place of pure evil.
(GASPS)
Yes! Yes!
Yes! There it is. That's it!
Max Doyle,
prepare to meet your doom!
(LAUGHING)
(COUGHING)
(BELL RINGING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Cammie! Hey!
Oh, I'll catch up with you guys. Bye.
Hey, I waited for you at our lunch table, but you didn't show up.
Yeah, I wasn't hungry.
Well, I saved you a cupcake, anyway.
It's a little mushy, but...
Look, Max, we need to talk.
I know, about the other night. No, actually,
it's not just about the other night. It's about everything.
"Everything"?
Look, Max, you're a really great guy.
You're funny, and smart, and...
Funny. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
Is there going to be a "but" soon?
But... Oh, no.
I just think we need to take a break.
A what?
You know, like a relationship vacation.
Spend a little time apart for a while, just to see.
To see what? To see that we're supposed to be together?
I can tell you that right now, save us both the trouble.
We're perfect together, even our names are perfect together.
Max and Cammie. Cammie and Max.
Sounds like the title of a really great TV show.
Doesn't it?
Cammie, we gotta go!
Okay, hold on!
Look, I hope you understand, okay?
And no matter what happens, we'll always be friends.
I already have friends.
Come on, let's go, guys. PHOEBE: You okay?
Yeah, they're ghosts, but...
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
What are you guys doing?
Don't just stand there, you dingus, grab something.
Hey, that's not nice. Max, you're just in time.
Can you give us a hand, please?
What is this for?
Renovations, you dummy.
Not nice.
We're renovating the house? Why? I like it the way it is.
Yeah, well, the realtor said a few fresh coats of paint,
some changes here and there, it could get us a better price on the house.
Oh, right.
Wait. What?
Didn't your mother tell you?
Tell me what?
Duh? We're moving. You are such a moron.
JOHN: Nice!
Thank you so much for all your help.
My pleasure, Mrs. Doyle.
Let's keep in touch. Okay.
Mom, is it true we're selling the house?
Didn't your father tell you?
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
I guess we just got carried away and forgot. (CHUCKLES)
Forgot to tell me we're moving? Where?
Oh, closer to Colin's school.
I just couldn't bear the idea of him being that far away.
Don't I get a say in any of this?
Yeah. You get to say nothing.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Honey, don't worry, at your age, you'll make plenty of friends.
Now, come and help us, there's lots of things to do.
(HAMMERING)
Oh, no.
Nicky! Tara! We've got trouble.
We already heard.
(SIGHS) (TV TURNS ON)
NARRATOR: But the delightful sea lions continue to...
Max, this is terrible. If your house gets sold...
Don't worry. I'm not going to leave you guys behind.
We don't have a choice. What?
This is our home, Max. We have to stay here.
No, but you guys come to my school.
We've gone lots of places together.
But we always come home.
We have to come home.
Forever.
But what if the new owners don't like ghosts?
Then we have a real problem.
NARRATOR 2: ...Simon Drake, Ghost Hunter.
Yeah, and shows like this don't really help.
That's all the time we have for today.
Be sure and join me this Friday
for a very special midnight edition of Simon Drake, Ghost Hunter.
We'll be coming to you live...
From a place some people call
the most haunted house in the country.
MAX: Hey, I know that place.
It's the old Grover Mansion over on Cliff Road.
As the locals tell it,
within these rotting walls,
on a dark, stormy night,
a mild-mannered family man by the name of Neville Grover
took his favorite wood axe down from the wall.
He called his family to dinner,
and...
Well,
to hear the rest of the story, you have to watch the show.
That's this Friday, 12:00 midnight.
Join me, Simon Drake, Ghost Hunter,
for "One Night In Doom House".
(THUNDER RUMBLING) (SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING)
NICKY: See? That's what I'm talking about.
Why do they always have to make ghosts so creepy and horrible?
I mean, we're not all axe murderers, you know?
You know, maybe we've been trying to do this the wrong way all along.
Do what?
MAX: Find your parents. Think about it.
Last night at the séance, I didn't really know what I was doing,
but I still managed to get your housekeeper to show up.
Right, so?
So think about what would happen
if we had a real professional on our side?
Like Simon Drake?
Like Simon Drake.
NARRATOR 2: Don't miss it
this Friday, midnight,
Simon Drake's One Night in Doom House.
(SPOOKY MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Hello? Anyone here?
Hello? Is anyone here?
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(CROWS CAWING)
Hello?
Mr. Drake?
Are you in here?
(DOOR CLOSING)
Uh, hello?
Anybody?
(NOTE PLAYS)
(MAX GASPS)
(EERIE DISTORTED MUSIC PLAYING ON GRAMOPHONE)
(MUSIC STOPS)
Hello?
Mr. Drake?
My name is Max.
Max Doyle. Uh, I just wanted to talk to you for a second.
(MICE SQUEAKING)
Ew.
Is anybody here?
Hello? Mr. Drake?
(JACK-IN-THE-BOX PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(GASPING)
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
(BABY CRYING)
What's a baby doing in a place like this?
Hey, shh...
It's okay, Max is here.
Everything's going to be okay.
Oh, you're the one making all this noise?
Ahh!
(GASPS)
Max, get a grip. Nobody's here. Just go home...
(LAUGHING) Ahh!
(PANTING)
Oh, great.
(DOOR LOCK RATTLES) Come on!
(GRUNTS)
Somebody let me outta here! Help me!
Help! Let me outta here!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I told you I heard somebody in here.
SIMON: Hey, kid.
What are you doing in my coffin?
Your coffin?
Yeah. It's for this week's show.
You'd better not have messed this up. This cost us a fortune.
Just exactly what are you doing in here, young man?
This is a closed set,
crew members only.
Well, I need to talk to Mr. Drake. Yeah? What do you want?
Want me to sign your autograph book or something?
Beverly, give him a head shot. You want a head shot?
Give him a head shot. No, no, it's not like that.
It's kind of personal.
Mr. Drake is a very busy, very important man.
He doesn't have time for your nonsense, okay?
So, off you go.
Now!
Yes, ma'am. Did you touch this?
You know, it'd be a lot scarier if it creaked.
What? What?
The coffin. If the hinges creaked, it'd be a lot scarier.
How?
Like this.
(GRUNTS)
Here, try it now.
(CREAKING)
Fine. You've got five minutes.
So let me get this straight, you're saying
you have two ghosts in your house?
Yeah. Nicky and Tara.
(LAUGHING)
Felicia!
FELICIA: Yes, Mr. Drake?
This mirror is filthy.
But I just cleaned it.
Clean it again.
(SIMON SIGHS)
(DISTORTED CRYING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
More dust. And they're trying to find their parents, what?
Yeah, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
(SIGHS) Felicia!
Yes, Mr. Drake?
(SIGHS)
Increase the volume on this thing.
But it's already up to 11, Mr. Drake.
Oh, really? Well, I want it at 12, okay?
I want that little doll to scare the crap outta people.
Crap! You got it?
SIMON: And you say the parents are stuck in the Where-where?
Well, the Elsewhere.
SIMON: Which is where?
MAX: Well, we don't really know where. That's why I'm here.
To help you find the Elsewhere.
Yeah, and Nicky and Tara's parents.
The ghost kids haunting the house?
Right. Right. Rat!
(SQUEAKING)
Does that look real to you? Mmm...
I'm going to ask you a serious question,
and I don't want you to lie to me, okay? MAX: Okay.
Are you nuts?
What? No.
Leticia!
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
I thought her name was Felicia.
SIMON: Yeah, they rhyme, whatever.
Well, if you just come to my house, you could see for yourself.
Your water, Mr. Drake.
I hope it's room temperature this time.
Yes, Mr. Drake.
Listen, kid, do you know how many people ask me to come to their house
and help them look for ghosts? Uh, hello. (WHISTLES)
More web there and there, okay?
And it's always the same thing.
Moaning sounds at night? Wind through a drafty window.
Spirits floating up in your attic?
Dusty cobwebs.
Ooh! Ghostly specter down by the lake?
Swamp gas. Uh...
Eyes need to be brighter. Legs? Leggier.
And I end up standing there with my camera crew,
looking like a complete idiot.
So that's why you do all this fake stuff?
(COUGHS)
Ex-squeeze me? No.
We call it, "Enhancing the experience for the home audience."
So none of this is real?
Uh, it's real enough to be the number one ghost reality show on TV.
And I have no slime.
Does that look like slime to you? I mean... (TUNING PIANO)
Look, you came all the way down here, all right. Let me give you a picture.
Take it home, show your family, show your friends, okay?
No, my ghosts are real.
I can see them and I can talk to them. Come on, you gotta believe me.
Kid, the only things I believe in are ratings.
Enough with the plinking!
All plinked out.
Look, here's my address. Please, Mr. Drake.
You gotta help us.
You're our only hope.
Are you giving me my picture back?
Please.
(SIGHS)
What was that all about? I don't know, Beverly.
They're fans. They're loony, but they're loyal.
Oh, and Beverly? Mmm-hmm.
More slime!
(SIGHS)
Just when you think you have enough, add more! Yeah.
COLIN: Can't we just hire movers or something?
Uh, well, your mother wants to start the renovation now,
so we need to empty this room now. (GRUNTS)
All right, all right. Careful! Careful.
I got it. Okay.
All right.
(EXHALES)
So what's the plan?
Well, if they can't renovate the house, they can't sell it, right?
JOHN: Let's get the chair now...
So we'd better make sure they don't even get started.
JOHN: All right, on three. One, two,
threesy-peasy!
You're not even lifting, Dad.
What are you talking about, I've got the heavy end.
That's 'cause you are the heavy end. (SCOFFS)
JOHN: All right, good play, son!
See, I was doing old school, and you were doing new school, and...
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
But hey, we're renovating.
I thought you...
Didn't I tell you to put that in the other room?
I thought I did move it.
Never mind. Uh, I'm going to go get the ladder.
You get the picture your mother made,
and whatever you do, don't drop it.
We don't want her taking up painting again.
I don't know whether to use my back or my legs.
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
(GROANS)
What the...
Stupid plant.
(GROANS)
Ow!
Get up.
Colin, why did you move this back in here?
I didn't, Dad! I didn't do anything. (GROANS)
This is your mother's favorite plant.
What?
Come on. Help me move the sofa.
Today. Yeah.
You get that end.
Okay, one, two, threesy-peasy!
Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.
(GRUNTS)
What are you doing? Put your back into it!
You gave me the heavy end, again.
What are you talking about? I've got the heavy end.
Yeah? Okay, so switch.
Okay.
We'll switch.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
All right, this is going nowhere.
Must be some sort of weird barometric pressure thing.
What?
Ah! Here. Spread this out over top.
We'll paint around it. (SCOFFS)
HARRIET: John!
Yes?
HARRIET: I need your help.
Coming, dear!
"Coming, dear."
Whoa! What the...
Hey!
Whoa!
Hey, hey, what the...
(COLIN SCREAMING) (PAINT CAN CLATTERS)
(GASPS)
Colin! (SIGHS)
If you don't stop fooling around, young man,
we're never going to sell this house.
(GRUNTS)
What?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Why?
BOTH: Ooh!
(SIGHS)
Cammie!
(BRAKE SQUEALING) Oh!
Hi, Max.
Hi. How are you?
Good, good. How about you?
Great. Really great.
So, you enjoying our break?
Max, do we really have to talk about this? (VEHICLE APPROACHING)
Well, I just thought maybe if you'd changed your mind...
Hey.
Aaron.
Hey, Max. See any ghosts lately?
Just give me a minute, Aaron.
We're gonna be late for rehearsal. Okay, in a minute.
We don't have a minute.
If we're gonna win tonight's contest, every second counts.
I thought the dance contest was off
because you didn't get the entry fee?
It was, but Aaron's dad gave us the money.
Oh.
Really. Wasn't that nice of him.
(REVVING)
All right, Aaron.
Well, I hope you and your dance partner are very happy together.
Max, it's not like that.
Really? 'Cause that's what it looks like to me.
This is Simon Drake
coming to you live
from Doom House.
(CLEARS THROAT)
This is Simon Drake,
coming to you live from Doom House!
Okay, we're going to need some more slime there, and...
Yeah, that's looking good, but, um, maybe more. More slime. Simon!
Do you want to come up here and check this out?
In a minute!
Hey, um, should I emphasize "doom" or "house"?
Uh...
Whatever you'd like, Simon. It's your show.
SIMON: Doom...
Doom. Doom.
Doom. Doom! Doom!
House. House! House.
This is Simon Drake, coming to you live
from Doom House.
Who knows what secrets awake?
(CLATTER) (GRUNTS)
People! I thought I told you to clean the floor in here!
When Simon Drake hunts for ghosts, he does not trip!
Hello.
Beverly?
Please come down here. You're not going
to believe what I've just found.
Did you say something, Simon?
I think I just found something to make the show an even bigger hit.
(LAUGHING) That's great.
Just more. More everything, okay?
More slime, more everything. Okay?
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
MAN: Hello, Mr. Drake.
Hello?
Somebody down there?
(YELLS)
(SIMON STRUGGLING)
Simon?
(CONTINUES STRUGGLING)
BEVERLY: Simon!
(CRACKS NECK)
Simon? Are you okay?
Yes, Beverly, I'm fine.
Everything is just peachy.
All right. Did you say you found something?
No, nothing at all.
False alarm.
Well, we are mostly finished here.
What do you say we call it a day?
Yes, yes, let's do that.
(SIGHS)
Oh, by the way, that boy that we found in the coffin? Yeah?
Do you still have his address?
I think so.
Yes, here it is. Why?
Hmm, I was just thinking I would pay him a visit.
Huh.
Well, suit yourself.
Yes.
A nice little visit.
It's the least I can do
for one of my fans.
(LAUGHS MENACINGLY)
So, how'd it go? It didn't.
What do you mean?
Did you talk to Simon Drake about us? Yeah,
but he didn't believe me. Why not?
Because he doesn't believe in ghosts.
What? I think we've just been insulted.
HARRIET: Help! Mom!
Oh, ow!
Help! MAX: Mom!
Mom, what are you doing?
I only took out one little nail. JOHN: Harriet?
Well, maybe it was two nails.
Want me to take that from you? Yes, please.
Are you all right, Mom?
I'm fine, honey.
Wall's going to need a little help, though.
Oh, dear.
I think there's something in here.
HARRIET: Oh, be careful, Max.
JOHN: Yeah, buddy.
Got it.
Harriet, did you put that in there?
No, I've never seen it before.
Well, don't just look at it, doofus, open it up.
Is that nice? Well, come on, he's just staring at it.
HARRIET: Oh, my.
JOHN: (LAUGHS) It looks like some sort of jewel.
I wonder what it's worth.
If it's worth anything, I call dibs.
Uh-uh, Max found it. It belongs to him.
Maybe I could use it in my magic act.
Hey! Uh-huh.
"Hey!" Some magician.
Well, it certainly is pretty.
Oh! I bet Cammie would like that.
Maybe you should give it to her?
Give it to Cammie.
Mom, you're a genius. I love you.
Ah, I love you too, honey. I'll be back for dinner!
Okay.
Oh, dear.
(SIGHS) I have the weirdest brother in the world.
(POP SONG PLAYING)
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
All right, gather, people! CAMMIE: Good job, guys.
(MUSIC STOPS)
Gather.
I have a surprise for everybody.
As you know, Aaron's father has very graciously
sponsored us for tonight's competition.
How about a round of applause for that?
Oh.
And he has also very kindly provided us with new costumes
for the show.
Aaron? Mmm-hmm?
Oh.
So I'll expect to see you all wearing them tonight.
Now, remember, people, backstage 7:00 p.m.
And let's all break a leg.
Max, what are you doing here?
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?
(SIGHS) (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hello, my name is... (GASPS)
Simon Drake!
You're Simon Drake!
But you already know that, don't you? (CHUCKLES)
And you must be Max's mother, Mrs. Doyle?
Oh, please, call me Harriet, Mr. Drake!
Well, then, you must call me Simon.
Yes, I must. I mean, I will. I mean...
(LAUGHING)
Is Max home?
Who? Max?
Oh, Max. Right, of course. My son, Max. (LAUGHING)
He wrote me a fan letter. I was hoping to surprise him.
Oh, well, he's not home right now,
but I'm expecting him any minute, so...
Oh, where are my manners?
Please, come in, Mr. Simon. (LAUGHING)
It's such an honor, having Simon Drake in our home!
I assure you, Harriet, the honor is all mine.
Okay, what is it, Max?
As you can see, I'm kind of busy
getting ready for the show tonight.
This won't take a second.
I just wanted to apologize for, you know, for being such a jerk before.
You weren't really a jerk. Much.
Yeah, I was. Anyway, I wanted to give this to you.
Oh, Max.
It's kind of a good luck charm for tonight.
Not that you'll need it. You guys are gonna win.
It's beautiful, Max. I love it.
I was hoping you would.
Well, anyway, I'd better go.
See you later. See you.
I thought you guys were on a break?
I thought so, too.
Please forgive the mess.
We're in the middle of renovating the place,
and, well, everything is all upside down.
Oh, trust me, I have seen worse.
Oh, my, what a lovely little box.
Wherever did you get it?
Well, it was the strangest thing.
We found it right in there when we
put that hole there.
I'm a bit of a collector, do you mind if I...
Oh, be my guest.
Although I can't imagine why anyone
would want to hide such a lovely piece.
It's empty.
HARRIET: Well, it wasn't when we found it.
There was a very nice little jewel inside.
A jewel?
Hmm, oh, a beautiful black crystal.
Probably not worth anything,
but it was still very pretty.
Where is it now?
My son took it to give it to his girlfriend.
"To his girlfriend." Mmm-hmm.
I see.
Where might she be? Oh, uh...
Probably still at the school.
There's a big dance competition there tonight.
Oh, dancing.
One lump or two?
None.
Mom? Hey, Mom! You were right, she loved it.
Mom? Did you hear me?
I said she loved it.
Mom?
What's the matter with you?
Dad?
There's something wrong with Mom. She's not moving.
Dad?
Colin?
Nicky? Tara? Help!
Is he gone?
Is who gone? Simon Drake.
Simon Drake was here, in my house?
But it wasn't really Simon Drake.
It was Phears. What are you talking about?
Phears is gone. We sent him back to his own dimension.
He must have escaped, because he got back somehow.
And he's possessed a TV show host.
But why would he do this? What does he want?
He's after that crystal you found.
TARA: Our parents hid it for a reason,
and if Phears wants it this bad,
then it must have been a very good reason.
Like taking over the world.
Max, we have to hide that crystal again,
somewhere Phears can never find it.
I don't have it.
What? Max, where is it?
I gave it away.
I gave it to Cammie.
(POP SONG PLAYING)
DUNCAN: Stretch it out.
Stretch it all out.
Feel the stretch. That's right.
Good one, Aaron. Now, just lengthen that.
I need you to lengthen that.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Max, what do you want? I'm backstage.
Cammie, listen, about that crystal I gave you...
Cammie can't talk right now, she's got stretching to do. Bye-bye.
Hello?
Okay, people, 10 minutes to showtime. Let's go, people!
Ticket, please.
Ticket, please?
Hi. Ticket, please?
(SIGHS) I don't need a ticket from you.
"I don't need a ticket from you."
You're in the first row, Mr. Drake.
"You're in the first row, Mr. Drake."
Enjoy the show. "Enjoy the show."
(PANTING)
(DOOR RATTLES)
(POP SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
What are you doing back here?
I got to talk to Cammie.
No, what you need to do is leave my dancers alone.
I will not have you distracting them
as they're about to go on in front of a live audience.
No, but... No "but." See that sign?
"Stop"? That sign.
This area is for dancers only.
That means if you're not wearing a costume, you need to get out.
(SIGHS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Hey, kid. I'm looking for a cute 16-year-old girl.
Do you know where she is?
Get lost, creep, or I'll call security.
Hmm.
Oh, my gosh, it's Simon Drake!
I love your show! Simon! (CROWD CLAMORING)
Hello, everyone, and welcome to
the First Annual City Wide
Dance Crew Competition Finals!
(APPLAUSE)
I hope you're all ready to get your groove, thangs grooving.
(GRUNTS)
And now, without further ado,
please welcome our first contestants,
James Whale High's very own
Norm's Discount
Fish Market Dancers!
(CHUCKLES) (APPLAUSE)
(MUTTERING)
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
Cammie!
Max, what are you doing?
What is he doing out there?
(GRUNTS)
Doyle! Get off the stage, you idiot!
(GASPS)
Cammie, you're in danger.
Oh!
What do we do?
Max has to dance better.
What?
I can't believe you're doing this.
You're ruining everything.
Doyle, when we get outside, I'm gonna...
What are you doing?
Just hold on.
(GASPS)
(APPLAUSE)
What do we do now?
Follow him.
(GRUNTS)
Oh!
(GROANING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(GROANS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Max, that was amazing!
I had no idea you could dance like that!
I've been taking lessons on the internet.
We've got to go!
I... (GASPS)
(CHEERING)
(LAUGHING)
That crystal I gave you?
Thanks again, I really love it.
Good. But I need it back.
What? Why? It's a long story.
I'll get you another one, I promise.
I need you to give it to me, right now.
I can't. Why not?
I don't have it.
Thank you!
(CROWD CHEERING)
What do you mean? What did you do with it? I gave it to Phoebe.
She's going to use it to make me a bracelet.
Phoebe? Okay, so where's Phoebe?
I don't know, probably at her house.
She doesn't really like crowds.
Now, what's this all about, Max?
If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
Try me.
I found the crystal in a box in my house.
It was left there by some scientists
who used it to trap an evil ghost,
but somehow, he escaped and possessed
the body of a reality TV show star
up at the old Grover Mansion.
Now he's after the crystal, so he can unleash his army of the undead,
and plunge our world into eternal darkness.
You're right. I don't believe you.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Max, he's coming!
What are we gonna do?
Who are you talking to?
We gotta get outta here.
I'm not going anywhere with you, Max.
This ghost stuff of yours is getting old.
You know what? You can forget about us having a break.
This is now a breakup.
DEPEW:...one more time!
No, Cammie, wait.
DEPEW:...Fish Market Dancers!
Hey, Phears!
I got your crystal right here.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
I've had just about enough of this.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Oh, come on.
Where's my bike?
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Come in!
Bernie, I gotta talk to Phoebe. It's an emergency.
An emergency about my dumb sister? Yeah, right.
What happened, somebody choke on
one of her stupid necklaces or something?
Just go get her for me, please.
I can't. Why not?
'Cause she's not here.
Okay, well then, why didn't you just say that, then?
You didn't ask if she was home,
you asked if you could talk to her.
Okay, she's got something of mine, and I need to get it back.
Guess you'll have to wait till she comes home.
No, I don't have time to wait. Maybe I could just go look in her bedroom?
Are you kidding?
If I let you in her room, she'll kill me.
Great. You just made me die! ELECTRONIC VOICE: You lose, sucker!
Okay, I'm sorry, Bernie, but look, this is important.
What's in it for me?
I've got the new Star Raiders game.
Volume four?
Yeah, take me to her room, and it's yours.
You're on your own. This place gives me a headache.
Where is it?
Come on, it's gotta be here somewhere.
(SIGHS) Great, I'm never gonna find it in all of this junk.
I don't happen to think it's junk, Max Doyle.
And what are you doing in my room?
Phoebe, listen, that crystal, the one Cammie gave to you, where is it?
The one for her bracelet?
Yes, you have to give it to me right now.
Why? I just... I need it back, okay? Please.
Does Cammie know about this?
Yes. I mean, well, no, not exactly.
Hmm, I better call her just to make sure.
No! No, wait!
Phoebe. She's not taking any calls right now.
Phoebe, please, where is the crystal?
It's in here somewhere.
I think I put it in... Ah!
Aha!
What are all of these?
Max, clearly, you don't know anything about making a bracelet.
I can't just use one stone, can I?
I used Cammie's crystal, and then I made a bunch of copies.
What? How am I supposed to find the real one?
Don't worry. I'll find it.
Hmm...
You know, Max,
I heard about you and Cammie,
and how you're on a bit of a break.
And if you ever want to watch a movie,
or go get some ice cream or something,
or if you ever just need a shoulder to cry on...
Phoebe, the crystal?
Right.
Here it is.
Phoebe, I could kiss you!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
NARRATOR: We now return to Simon Drake, Ghost Hunter.
That's weird.
Don't touch it.
Welcome to a very special edition
of Simon Drake, Ghost Hunter.
And tonight,
we have a real treat for you.
(LAUGHING)
I guess you really like this show, huh?
Usually, I just hunt for spirits on my show,
but tonight, I've captured two of them.
Oh, no!
Oh, poor little ghosts... (MOUTHING)
...all locked up like this.
But there is one way to free them,
and you know what it is...
Don't you, Max?
You know him, Max?
Not exactly.
You've got until the next commercial break to give me what I want, Max.
Or your friends here, well,
they're going to end up like all bad TV shows.
They're going to be canceled.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Wow! That 3D stuff is getting better all the time.
(SIGHS) The crystal. He wants this crystal.
I... I don't understand.
How did he even know you were watching?
MAX: I don't have time to explain.
I have to get to that house.
Phoebe, do you have a bike?
(BELL RINGING)
(ENGINE STARTS)
AARON: Pull over! I wanna talk to you!
Not now, Aaron!
Now, Doyle!
Ahh!
(GROANS)
I told you to pull over.
Aaron, I don't have time for this.
Yeah, well, you better make time.
Now, my dad put a lot of money into that contest tonight,
then you had to come along, and start
bugging Cammie and mess everything up!
Cammie, she's... Cammie doesn't want to be with you.
Can't you understand that?
Isn't that the stone you gave her?
No, don't touch that.
She gave it back to you, huh?
Told you it was over.
SIMON: I'll take that.
Who are you?
Someone who wants the crystal.
Yeah, well, get your own, buddy,
'cause this one's going to...
Oh, you're gonna make me chase you?
(SQUEALING)
Hi, uh, remember that crystal I gave you?
Yeah, I'm gonna need it back.
(GASPS) Oh...
Nicky! Tara! Where are you?
(PANTING)
NICKY: Max!
TARA: No, Max, stay away!
(GASPS)
NICKY: No, Max!
Max!
Max, get away!
Save yourself, Max! Run!
I'm not leaving without you guys.
(SCREAMING)
Max!
Oh...
That gets the old blood flowing, doesn't it?
Isn't it brave of them, trying to save you?
Well, now it's your turn to save them. Give me the crystal.
Free them first, then I'll give it to you.
Oh, no. No, no, no. That's not how it works.
First, you give me the crystal, see?
Then I free them.
Max, no!
Don't do it, Max!
SIMON: What's the matter?
You don't trust me?
So why don't you freeze me, like the way you did my parents?
Then you could just take the crystal.
Maybe I don't want to?
Maybe you can't.
You can't take the crystal from me.
I have to give it to you, don't I?
That's how it works.
What is this anyway?
It's his Life Pod!
What?
(SIGHS)
If you must.
Wow!
What is this?
SIMON: To the Rolands, it was an experiment.
To me and all the other ghosts they captured...
It is a prison.
Wait, each one of these is a ghost?
Very smart, for a mortal.
Every single crystal represents one of my soldiers
captured by Nicky and Tara's parents,
locked away here for all eternity.
When I escaped, I swore I would free them.
But you couldn't, because of this?
My life force is in there.
To join the others, it must be here,
or else I cannot take my rightful shape in your world,
and I'll forever be stuck in these, ugh...
Stupid human bodies. Blech.
Max, don't give it to him!
Shut up! He'll use it to take over the world!
SIMON: It's up to you, Max.
Save your friends, or save the world.
Choices, huh?
All right, I'll give it to you.
No! Max!
SIMON: That is a wise decision, Max.
You wouldn't want your friends to suffer forever.
It's all yours.
Yes.
(CHUCKLES) Yes!
(LAUGHING)
Okay, you've got your crystal, now free Nicky and Tara.
Oh, please. What?
Come on, Max, aren't you smart enough
to know not to believe everything people say on television?
Dumb-dumb.
(LAUGHING)
SIMON: At last, my faithful soldiers,
we will rise up
and we will spread evil and darkness throughout the world.
Rise.
Rise! (SHATTERING)
What?
(HISSING)
There's something's wrong with my crystal. Hello? Rise! Rise!
Oops. I guess I must have given you one of Phoebe's copies.
I had to practice it a lot, but I finally got the move right.
(SHATTERS) (GASPS)
(SHRIEKS)
No!
(BOTH GROAN)
Are you guys all right? Yeah, I think so.
Thanks, Max. Look out!
Doyle!
(PANTING)
(GROANS)
Mama Max.
(GASPS) Mama Max.
(DOLL SQUEAKS)
(DOLL GIGGLES)
(SQUEAKING)
(GROWLING)
(SQUEAKS)
(CLOWN LAUGHING)
(JEERING)
(SCREAMING)
(MICE SQUEAKING)
(LAUGHING)
CAMMIE: Max.
Cammie, what are you doing here?
I came to find you, Max.
You did? Uh-huh.
And I'm so sorry we had a fight.
Will you please forgive me?
Uh...
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Good.
I'd really like to have my crystal back, Max.
You would?
It's so beautiful, Max. Please, give it to me?
Okay, whatever you want.
That's right, Max, just give it to me.
Put it in my hand and everything's going to be okay.
(GASPS)
Give me the crystal!
Give me! Give me! Give me!
No! Give me! Give me! Give me!
(SCREAMS)
Am I dead?
MAN: No.
Who are you?
It's all right, Max, you're safe.
How do you know my name?
We know a great deal about you, Max.
I'm Michelle Roland, and this is my husband, Michael.
Roland?
You're Nicky and Tara's parents?
And we want to thank you so much for taking such good care of them.
Well, this is great. They're going to be so excited.
They've been looking for you everywhere.
But how do we get out of here?
We don't, Max.
What?
Grover Mansion used to be our laboratory.
MICHELLE: We did all of our ghost experiments there.
It's where we first developed the ghost traps,
and then we built the Life Pod chamber
as a place to store the evil spirits,
so they couldn't harm mortals.
MICHAEL: But we knew we had to do all of this in secret,
without the chance of anybody stumbling into the place.
So we created the story of Old Man Grover,
and the whole myth about Doom House being haunted,
to keep people away, so we could work in peace.
But then the ghosts got loose, and one of them,
the most evil one of all,
sent us here.
The Elsewhere. Lulu told us.
Ghosts can't kill you, they just send you here.
And until that ghost is sent back to the other side permanently,
we can never leave.
If only we could tell Nicky and Tara how much we miss them,
how much we love them.
Why can't we do that right now?
What do you mean, Max?
Well, you said the most evil ghost of them all, right?
Okay, how about I send him back to the other side right now?
No. Max! Max, no!
(GROANING)
(MECHANICAL SPIDER WHIRRING)
I did it.
(POWERING DOWN)
I stopped him.
I stopped Phears.
(RUMBLING)
(CLATTERING)
What now?
(SCREAMS)
Help!
Somebody, help me!
Help!
Gotcha! Huh?
Are you the real Cammie?
Don't ask such stupid questions!
(GRUNTS) Yeah, you're the real Cammie.
Hang on!
Let's go.
Run!
What's happening?
(BOTH GRUNT)
Doyle!
What was that?
Nicky! Tara!
Nicky!
Tara!
Great.
Doom House took them, too.
(DOLL CRYING)
(CRYING STOPS)
Who were you calling? Who are Nicky and Tara?
They were my friends.
"Were"? What happened to them?
I don't know. I guess they're gone.
This time forever. (SIMON MUTTERING)
SIMON: I do believe in ghosts.
I do believe in ghosts. I do.
I do believe in ghosts.
I do. I do believe in ghosts.
I think they could be real.
(LAUGHING AND MUTTERING)
Simon! Where have you been? I've been trying your phone all day!
The network called.
They think that the test footage we sent them looks fake.
They want us to try to make the ghosts look more real.
So, any ideas?
Huh? Simon.
(WHIMPERS)
(LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Okay. I know you've been working too hard, babe.
Let's go to the van.
Let's go to the van, hon. Okay.
You're pretty! You're pretty! No touching.
Oh, I like vans. In you go, in you go.
I like vans. (GRUNTS) Come on in.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Drive!
(CAR DOOR CLOSES) (TIRES SCREECH)
Max, will you please tell me what just happened?
You wouldn't believe me anyway.
I will now.
So, how did you know I was here?
Phoebe told me.
Now you tell me the whole story.
Well, it started with a hole in the wall.
My mom and dad were remodeling the house,
and I found this little box.
Well, I'd better be getting home.
I'm going to have a hard enough time explaining
where I've been since the dance contest.
Thanks for everything, Cammie.
You know, saving my life and all that.
I'm sorry about your friends, Max.
But you did everything you could to save them.
Anybody would be proud to have you as a boyfriend.
I know I am.
Goodbye, Cammie.
See you later, Max.
REPORTER: (ON TV) ...the youth, Aaron Carmichael, 16,
was found naked and asleep
behind a local church.
When questioned by police, Mr. Carmichael said, quote,
"I had a dream I was a baby pig,
"and when I woke up, I was in the mud, " unquote.
He is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation.
Back to you, Donna. Get out of my face!
Isn't that your friend, Aaron?
The one who was here the other night?
(SCOFFS) His parents must be so proud.
I'm glad you boys don't get into trouble like that.
Mom! (EXCLAIMS)
Dad? You're okay! You're here. Hey! Oh!
Yeah. Of course we are, honey.
Maybe a little tired, but... (ALL CHUCKLE)
Just renovations. We're not saving the world.
Should we tell him, honey?
Uh... Mmm.
You tell him. I'm too tired. I think I slept wrong. (YAWNS)
Tell me what?
Well, we're so excited about what we're doing to the house,
we've decided not to sell. (BOTH EXCLAIM)
Oh...
That's great.
Yeah, well, don't get too excited about it, you dork.
You were the one who didn't want to move, remember?
Wow! My back is sore. Hmm.
I feel like I slept standing up last night.
Hey, orange juice.
REPORTER:...included this woman who found the naked boy
outside of her bedroom window.
Young lady, can you tell us how did that make you feel?
Well...
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry, guys. I tried.
NICKY: So you and Cammie got back together, huh?
Yeah, we... Nicky!
Tara! You're alive!
Well, not exactly.
I mean, you're here! You're okay!
Thanks to you, Max.
Yeah, you risked your own life to save us.
Of course, I did.
You guys aren't just my pet ghosts,
you know. You're my friends.
My best friends.
Told you.
Wait, I almost forgot, I met your parents!
What! What!
Yeah. I was in the Elsewhere. Phears sent me there.
What did they say? How did they look? Are they all right?
Yeah, they're okay, but they miss you very much,
and they wanted you to know how much they love you.
Thanks, Max.
Wait. You said you were in the Elsewhere.
But how did you get out?
I destroyed Phears' Life Pod,
and it sent me back to our world.
But wait a second.
Your parents said they couldn't be free
until the most evil ghost was gone.
And you said you destroyed Phears' Life Pod.
Are you sure?
Definitely. He's gone for good.
Well, that means there's something else out there.
Something even worse than Phears?
Yeah, but who?
(MORGO LAUGHING EVILLY)
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)